We often struggle to see the gifts in our challenges. But that is just what I have done with osteoporosis. I see it as a gift to bring the balance back to my life – so that I can heal all of me.
Seeing the gifts in life and osteoporosis – transcript
– Hey, this is Dale here from daledarley.com, soulwritersacademy.com, and naturalosteoporosisawareness.com. This video is all about seeing the gifts in everything and especially seeing the gift in osteoporosis. Now, you might think I am completely barking mad to say that we should see a gift in a chronic dis-ease. I’m not going to call it a disease, I’m going call it a dis-ease.
So there’s an imbalance in the body, but before I do that, I want to take you back in time and talk a little bit about some other gifts that I was given that have really helped me in this present time with the things that are going on.
So, it’s currently May. If I take you back to 2014, this is two days after I made a discovery about the man I was living with and on Friday night, I had opened his computer and there was a picture of his penis in a Facebook conversation with another woman. Well, you can imagine what that was like. Although I’m smiling now, I’m smiling because it was, as I came to understand, one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given.
I later went on to discover that he had, for all the time that we’d been together for the five years, he’d been living a double life and that’s not just with this particular person, that’s with many people doing lots of things simultaneously. So, we’ll leave that at that, but that was a great awakening and as a consequence of that happening, six weeks later, I’d left him and moved into the house that I now live in.
The house really wasn’t ready for occupation. It was a house that I had purchased and we were going to reform it together. However, I had a house. What a gift.
So, I arrived at this house and lots of things happened that weren’t very pleasant. You know, one of the things that happened was that I’d had lots of falls. The dogs had seen something in the rambler and they’d gone chasing after it. Next thing I know, I was flat on the floor and that happened several times and I actually was being very smug and my mother has osteoporosis and I was like, “Yeah well, it might be in the family, “but I don’t have it because look at all the times “that I’ve fallen over and nothing’s happened.”
Anyway, that was soon to change and one day, foolishly, I put the dog’s lead around my wrist. I was putting the key in the door and the dog saw a cat and went chasing after it. Splam, I was on the concrete. I can tell you that hurt. I had a hematoma on my knee. I hurt my right ribs and I smacked my head. It was not pleasant.
A few weeks later, I got flu. I tried not to cough, got a chest infection, and I ripped something on the left-hand side of my rib and that hurt too. That hurt even more than falling over. What subsequently happened was my stomach moved up here underneath my breasts and my spine curved and I was in agony for the best part of six months. I did immediately go to see an osteopath who was very recommended and he actually made matters worse. I left him in 10 times more pain than I’d gone in. So I think he actually did some more damage.
The net result of that was you know, I learned to listen to my intuition and know what kind of therapist I needed to see and for how long and all kinds of other things. I really learned to tap into my body but I can tell you though, it was a pretty tough time. But one of the gifts that came out of that was, I wrote several hundred thousand words which I now use in blogs and different books that I can write over the coming years. My biggest gift was, you see, I stood and looked in the mirror and I hated what I saw. I realised I’d never loved myself.
So, I went on a journey that enabled me to get rid of ‘toxins’ out of my body. It helped me to get rid of toxic people out of my life, declutter my house and really learn to love myself. I got to a position where if I wanted to do something, I’d say, “Do I love myself enough to do,” or, “Because I love myself, I will.” So, that journey continued. I did actually get, I slipped on a wet tile and you know, during that time, I had several X-rays and they told me there was nothing wrong. I don’t have a copy of the X-rays, so it’s done. I don’t know.
In between all of that, I decide to go and have a well woman test and out of that came that I had an overactive thyroid and the doctor was quite fascinated because I wasn’t, I was sleeping well, I didn’t feel unwell. In fact, I had masses of energy apart from all the pain. You know, the blood results were quite frightening. So what I did was, I very bullishly said to him, “I’m not going to see an endocrinologist. “I’ll be back in six weeks and it will be turned around.” He just kinda nodded his head, smiled at me and let me go on my merry way. Sure enough, six weeks later, I went back and completely confounded him. I did, at that point, ask for a bone density test and I was told that there was no reason to send me for one.
Subsequently, what I’ve learned is that you do need to be sending people for bone density tests if they’ve got an overactive thyroid, among lots of other things. I did ask another doctor twice more if I could go for bone density tests and I was denied. So, that’s okay. Again, that’s in the past.
What came out of that is I then went on an intensive naturopathic nutrition course and that was the second time I’d studied naturopathic nutrition and in my 20’s, I did a diploma in human nutrition. So I’ve always been interested in nutrition and how the body works, although I’m a writer and a book coach. So, for me, learning about how to look after myself was key, so I turned the overactive thyroid around, I went on a nutrition course again. You know, that was a great gift. It hurt me a lot to go there because it was difficult to fly and sit in a class and blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, let’s fast forward. It’s January 2018. So I have a great diet. I’m out walking my dogs. The pain in my ribs is diminished. Life actually felt pretty good. You know, I felt like things were really going well. I jumped out the shower one morning, I reached over to pick up some clothes, and I heard three loud cracks and I held onto the bed, I looked up at the ceiling, lots of expletives, “What the mm do you want from me now?” You know, as if somehow God or the universal spirit or there was going be a big message on the ceiling that said, “Yes, young lady. “The reason that this has happened is because of this.” So, I didn’t actually see a gift in it at that time.
I immediately went to see my osteopath. I saw her the following week and the following week, about two hours later, I was in absolute agony, such that I could hardly breathe. My health company said to me that I needed to call an ambulance. My response was, “Ambulances are for sick people.”
I’m in bed, I can hardly breathe. I am in agony from the pain and I’m convinced that someone else needs an ambulance more than me. Long story short, I get a friend to drive me to the doctor. He sends me for X-rays and we discover that I have compression fractures and when you look at the X-ray, you can see that the lumbar spine looks healthy and the thoracic spine looks decidedly unhealthy.
From there, I spiralled downwards. I sank into a pit of, I’m not going say I was depressed, but I would say this is the lowest I’ve ever been. However, there’s one thing hitting the floor, crashing, feeling like you don’t want to be on the planet. It’s another thing realising that you are surrounded by love and you love yourself. So you know, I’ve got my mum, I’ve got my dogs, I’ve got my friends and I’ve got me. So, out of this came this desire that I would heal myself naturally.
Now, I couldn’t get back to the doctor I saw for the thyroid, so I went to another doctor. He expedited things. I went to see a rheumatologist. She didn’t listen to me. She didn’t read any of the notes that I made, but she did send me for bone density tests.
I came back from the bone density test. It was a complete and utter farce. All they did was scan lumbar one through four. The fractures are very obvious and they are in the thoracic region. Went back to the hospital, I asked them to please do it properly and she just shrugged her shoulders and said, “This is what we do.”
So, I had a very pretty piece of paper with not a lot of information on it. I went back to the doctor. She didn’t listen to me again. I did loads more notes about me, my life history, my mum, the way that I ate, my philosophy and I wanted an outcome and that was for her to support me for six months, six months doing a natural approach and if after the six months, that wasn’t working, then we would look at other alternatives. She just shrugged me away, didn’t read my notes, just said, “Yes, you have osteoporosis.” I said, “Well what are my T scores?”
The bone density test shows osteopenia and she shrugged her shoulders because she doesn’t know because they didn’t scan it. She did some number crunching and she just said, “You have osteoporosis.”
What I understand is, if you have osteopenia and you have fractures, they upgrade it to osteoporosis. So, you know, I have this pile of pictures that show things. I have this doctor who is not prepared to listen to me. I’m in absolute bloody agony. I am heartbroken. I don’t know what to do with my life. I feel like I just don’t want to be here.
But there’s this love that is holding me to other people and to myself. So, I decide that what I’m going do is I’m going fight the bloody system. I am not going let somebody tell me that I’ve got poison in my body. I might put poison in my body later on, but I damn sure that I want to try my way first.
The first thing I did was I got a journal and I started writing. I write in my journal all the time. I started a brand new journal that was just for this journey and it’s helped me immensely. I cannot begin to tell you about the clarity I’ve got. You know, I use to for my research.
I’m in some amazing forums. They’re hugely supportive but you see, all our bodies are totally and utterly unique and what works for one person doesn’t work for somebody else, so I’ve screwed my research head on and I’ve gone and researched. I’ve worked with my naturopathic nutrition friends and I refuse to go back to the doctor. There’s no way I’m going be with somebody who does not listen to me.
One of the things I learned about having an overactive thyroid was, I never got listened to and I healed that which is why I am so bolshy about it. It’s like I will be heard. I will do this my way. That doesn’t mean I’m not asking for help. Man, I have asked for so much help. I found it really hard. I’m a strong woman. I find it incredibly hard to ask for help.
Anyway, I got my nutrition background, I’ve got lots of books. I know how to research. I come up with a protocol that works with me in discussion with my naturopathic nutrition friends. So I’m immensely lucky.
So, there are gifts. I’ve learned to love myself. I’ve learned to ask for help. I’ve learned how to research and I’ve learned how to listen to my body and I use this every single day to enable me to get really connected to what I call my divine inner wisdom.
When I’m able to drive, which is quite a long time, I go back to the doctor that worked with me on the overactive thyroid. He listens to me, he looks at the X-rays, he’s shocked at the X-rays, he’s shocked at the bone density test and he reads my notes. And you know what? He said to me, “I don’t know how you did the “overactive thyroid but you did it “and I will work with you.”
What he’s done is he’s sent me away for a month. I go back in two weeks time and we do, we conduct a number of blood tests. I’ve got some great osteoporosis books and the one that I’m going take with me is the one by Lani Simpson and it’s a guide to bone health. There’s a whole load of tests in there. I’ve bought him the copy of the book. I don’t know what he’ll think when I give him a copy of the book, but here’s the gift.
The gift is that I see osteoporosis as a way to heal my entire life.
Everything that is outstanding that has created this imbalance, so remember I said it wasn’t a disease, it’s a dis-ease, it’s an imbalance. My bones are not in balance. I have some other issues with things like high platelets and some other tests that we need to investigate.
I’m extremely tired. I’m learning to listen to my body. I’m learning to take it easy. I’m learning to just concentrate on just the important things, to set those priorities but I am healing all of my life. I’m healing my physical body, my mental body, and my spiritual body.
It is not easy, it is not easy. I get up at, this morning, I get up and I have my water and I have some supplements and I have a cup of yerba mate tea. I think, you know, I would just like to sit here for a while and just enjoy myself. I’ve got three dogs going, “Mummy, mummy, mummy, “I want to go for a walk.” They keep me going.
Being out walking, I have a little watch. I don’t have one at the moment, like a fitness monitor. I set it at 8,000 steps a day. It’s not huge compared to what I used to do but it keeps me focused and motivated and on track as do my three very beautiful dogs. So where do I find myself? I find myself no longer confused, bewildered, overwhelmed and scared. I’m not scared. I love myself enough to do whatever it takes to heal my body. I remain positive. I focus on the now. I’m focused on creating something, you know, a body that I can live in that’s going to carry me forward into my dotage in a way that gives me that lovely inner peace and contentment. That’s, I believe, all we can ask for.
So, I’ll leave you with the, yes I have osteoporosis, yes I’m in pain, yes I feel low. However, I have faith and I know I’m healing. I know I’m doing the right things. I know that my nutrition is good. My supplementation plan is good. I’m asking for help. I’m walking, I’m meditating and I’m writing in my journal. I’m also, out of this, I’m writing a book. The book is called you, me, and osteoporosis. The reason I’m writing that is because there are lots of scared people and I want them to pick my book up and go. This is how we create a healing plan for our lives and our osteoporosis. This is, these are the good books to read, the good forums to go in. This is how to listen to my body and this is how to create something that is totally and utterly unique for me. So I’m going leave you with that.
Please see the gift in what you’ve got. No matter how rubbish you feel and how much you hate this thing, start to see it as an opportunity to heal and please, join me on Facebook, natural-osteoporosis awareness, I have a website called Natural Osteoporosis Awareness. I also have a group called Writing for the Soul.
So if you want to come and get some journaling bits and pieces done, I promise you, when you start to write and you start to bring your story out, you’ll start that healing process. Don’t be alone. Come and join us, be with us. Together, we can raise awareness about Natural Osteoporosis and how to heal naturally, how to use all of that stuff that’s available to us.
Given the right ingredients, our bodies know how to heal. So, try natural first and then do whatever you need to do afterwards.
I’ll leave you with lots and lots and lots of love.